Review: Pure by Julianna Baggott

We know you are here, our brothers and sisters . . .

Pressia barely remembers the Detonations or much about life during the Before. In her sleeping cabinet behind the rubble of an old barbershop where she lives with her grandfather, she thinks about what is lost-how the world went from amusement parks, movie theaters, birthday parties, fathers and mothers . . . to ash and dust, scars, permanent burns, and fused, damaged bodies. And now, at an age when everyone is required to turn themselves over to the militia to either be trained as a soldier or, if they are too damaged and weak, to be used as live targets, Pressia can no longer pretend to be small. Pressia is on the run.
 

Burn a Pure and Breathe the Ash . . .

There are those who escaped the apocalypse unmarked. Pures. They are tucked safely inside the Dome that protects their healthy, superior bodies. Yet Partridge, whose father is one of the most influential men in the Dome, feels isolated and lonely. Different. He thinks about loss-maybe just because his family is broken; his father is emotionally distant; his brother killed himself; and his mother never made it inside their shelter. Or maybe it's his claustrophobia: his feeling that this Dome has become a swaddling of intensely rigid order. So when a slipped phrase suggests his mother might still be alive, Partridge risks his life to leave the Dome to find her.
When Pressia meets Partridge, their worlds shatter all over again. 

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Wow.  I don't even...

I mean, there's just so much to...

What can I say about this book that hasn't

This book is so...gross.  That's it, that's how I'm going to start this review: this book is gross.  And frightening.  It's everything Anna Dressed in Blood wishes it was—disgusting and terrifying.  I mean, homicidal ghosts?  Pshh.  That's child's play.  But post-apocalyptic life with all the food shortages, diseases, no order, no normalcy, mutants—like really nasty looking mutant-y mutants—and horrible ways to die around every corner?  Now that's what I call pants-peeing, nightmare-inducing, huddle-in-corner-crying-out-for-your-momma scary.  As far as I'm concerned that's not a bad thing.

Funny thing is, this cover did not in any way prepare me for the demented, never-ending county fair Fun House I entered.  I mean, it looks so innocent, doesn't it?  All pretty-like with a sophisticated font and gorgeous sapphire-blue butterfly.  It looks like a fairly tame book about something fresh and...pure, am I right?  Probably something about Soul Mates and rainbows and unicorns.  You know, the sort of cutesy idealized thing that typically makes me want to chuck a book across a room.

But it's not.

I figured out there is a reason for that, by the way, the whole innocent-looking-on-the-outside-but-jacked-up-on-the-inside thing this book has going for it, but that's not something I'm going to discuss in this review.

I want to give Pure more stars because, story-wise, it is pretty enjoyable, for the most part.  And the gross-out factor is off the charts a-mazing, same goes for the scare factor.  But did Julianna Baggott write a five-star worthy read?  Not so much.  I mean, sure, when it comes to recent YA genre dystopias/post-apocalyptic books Pure is sort of up there with The Hunger Games and Ship Breaker, beating out all of the other competition.

But...truthfully?  I wasn't so wholly invested that I was able to overlook all the sciencefail! and believabilityfail!  And it's not like I'm one of those people who find it difficult to suspend disbelief.  I read plenty of books with ridiculous and often impossible story lines and I'm able to believe those just fine.  It's just, for whatever reason, there was much that didn't work for me because the author didn't sell it right or whatever.

For example there is this one character that somehow knows everything about everything, even taught himself how to read Japanese.  Keep in mind said character raised himself in a post-apocalyptic hellhole from the time he was nine years old.  I mean, come on!  The world as we know it has ended, death and destruction and scary mutants are everywhere.  And you want me to believe some little kid, who is taking care of himself is like "Gee, I sure miss everything.  I think I'll teach myself how to read Japanese because it might actually come in handy some day.  You know, since Japanese above all other languages is the one I'm most-likely going to need to know how to read."  No!  I don't buy it.  Orphan be learning how to fend for himself in a cruel every-mutant-for-himself world, not teaching himself how to read Japanese OR study nanotechnology in-depth.

And at no point during this book did I learn how our world got from how things are today to some crazy-go-nuts uber-religous society that shuns modern feminism in favor of some brand of not-feminist feminism to eventually blowing itself to high hell.  This bugs me.

If I were to be completely honest, for whatever reason I couldn't stop thinking about one of my favorite children's books of all time while I was reading Pure.  It's called Everyone is Different.  If you don't know what I'm talking about go read it, I'll wait right here.



Are you done?  Great book, right?

Pure is pretty much the same as Everyone is Different.  I mean, you know, basically.  Maybe there isn't any squirrel-handedness going on in Pure but there sure is a lot of doll-head-handedness and bird-backedness going on.  Instead of characters being fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous beast there's a lot of characters being fangoriously devoured by dust-beasts and other such mutants.  There are weird names, like Partridge and Pressia and El Capitan.  Some characters are tall and merciless.  Some characters are about to be hit by cars and other characters who have rigged the "enemy base" with explosives.  There may even be a point in which no two characters are not on fire.  And yes, in this book everyone is different.  

I wish I could give this book four or five stars, but I can't.  That said, I still do like it and I'm going to recommend it to anyone looking for a post-apocalyptic read.  Three stars.

Review: Girl in the Arena by Lise Haines

 Lyn is a neo-gladiator's daughter, through and through. Her mother has made a career out of marrying into the high-profile world of televised blood sport, and the rules of the Gladiator Sports Association are second nature to their family. Always lend ineffable confidence to the gladiator.  Remind him constantly of his victories. And most importantly: Never leave the stadium when your father is dying. The rules help the family survive, but rules and the GSA can also turn against you. When a gifted young fighter kills Lyn's seventh father, he also captures Lyn's dowry bracelet, which means she must marry him... For fans of The Hunger Games and Fight Club, Lise Haines's debut novel is a mesmerizing look at a world addicted to violence; a modern world that's disturbingly easy to imagine.

----

 

I want to give Girl in the Arena four--possibly even five--stars, because it has something few other books I've had the pleasure of reading has. Something I've been looking for, desperately, within YA fiction. Something that just...I don't know... Just speaks to me, I guess; feels true. I can relate to it, to the protagonist, how she feels. I understand her because, in a way, I was her.  Maybe, from time to time, I still am her.

To help you understand where I'm coming from I need to go back. Way back. Back to August 3, 2008, when I finished reading the flaming garbage pile that is called Breaking Dawn. As I closed the book, I sat back and contemplated what I'd just read. I was speechless at first, trying to pinpoint why Bella's picture perfect Happily Ever After made me angry beyond all reason.

The next morning I called my friends, asked them what they thought of the book. And you know what? I was shocked--shocked!--to discover none of my friends were dissatisfied. So I ran to the internet--to GoodReads--and sought out others who felt the way I did. I discovered a little group of disillusioned Twilight fans and together we ripped Breaking Dawn to shreds. Upon doing so, I saw what it was that bugged me so much: EVERYTHING.  The entire book.

I especially hated how everyone was eating that piece of creeptastic wish-fulfillment up and begging for more.  Listening to people refer to it as 'beautiful literature' was enough to stoke my fiery rage.   I was embarrassed for every grown woman who referred to stalkerific Edward as the perfect man. I felt bad for the teens who thought Edward and Bella were the epitome of twu wuv--The ideal.

So stupid, the lot of them, I thought to myself. I'm glad my girls are too young to read the Twilight series. It was then a bunch of horrible and very-much insane thoughts popped into my head.

Oh, holy crap! My girls--my babies!--will grow up and they might read this garbage and think it's romantic. What if they start wishing to be just like Bella? What if they allow their lives to revolve around "beautiful" and mysterious boys? What if they lose the best parts of themselves in pursuit of an unrealistic, bastardized version of romantic love? They'll become pathetic losers. Weaklings with no identities, no goals to call their own. No one will respect them! They'll die alone! In vomit-filled gutters!  Oh, the humanity!

Clearly I was being crazy, but can you blame me? Twilight mania had just set in--worldwide might I add. It was an ugly time in history.

I was upset Twilight was this Really Big Deal, had such a massive following. I hated that no one could shut up about it--not even me! I kept wondering what I could do to insure my girls wouldn't grow up to be useless human beings like Bella Swan.  And then it came to me: keep teaching them. Encourage them to be themselves, to be proud of who they are.  Teach about setting goals and what steps to take in order to accomplish them. Encourage them to think for themselves, teach them self-reliance.

There was a bunch of other things I resolved to do, but I couldn't figure out how to solve the pesky problem of the Twilight series and books that were similar.  I was never going to forbid my girls from reading them, but I wanted them to be smart enough to see past all the glitter and not get too caught up in the fantasy.

I came up with the idea of building a little library, a collection made up of the best books.  I wanted it to be something my girls could enjoy, so of course it needed a killer YA selection.  But what books would I put there?  It would have to contain more than just the classics, that I was sure, but was there any contemporary YA literature that was worthwhile?  At that time I just didn't know.

And that, my fellow GoodReaders, is when I started reading everything YA in pursuit of awesome books with really great protagonists.  Over the years I've read some heinous stuff, but I've also had the opportunity to read some truly beautiful literature.  This book, Girl in the Arena, is, in some ways, among the best of the best.  It contains a pretty solid message without being preachy.  It brings up some legitimate questions, questions teenage girls should be asking themselves if they aren't already doing so.  Questions I once asked, about who I was, what I stood for, how strongly I stood for it, what lengths I'd go in order to be true to myself, and whether or not I cared how my actions might affect family members and other loved ones.  This book? Asks all those questions and more.  It introduces some interesting ideas, too.  Honestly, I got lost within the pages of Girl in the Arena.  In some ways it was a really great, near ideal, reading experience.

All of that said, this book is riddled with flaws.  Errors of all sort, big and little.  Glaring ones that made me want to give up on this book early on.  The world-building is pretty weak in some places, non-existent in others.  This book assumes I know exactly what's going on in the protagonists world.  But see, I don't.  I don't even know what year it's supposed to be.  I was never sold on the Gladiator culture, why they all did what they did.  I didn't understand why anyone would adhere to such stringent rules, rules that interfered/controlled their personal lives so thoroughly.  Especially when religion was in no way part of the equation.  Was the government involved?  What happened to the government, exactly?  Where were the protestors, the people who opposed gladiatorial battles to the death?  Where was PITA?  Why weren't they throwing buckets of blood at the gladiators who fought and killed animals in the arena?

The writing style was enough to make me want to poke my eyes out (until I got used to it).  Instead of using quotation marks to indicate dialogue, the author used em dashes.  At first I wasn't always sure who was saying what.  It looks like this:

   

—Maybe we should stop eating meat.

    —You better talk with Allison, I said. —The freezer is half cow.

    —We could give it away.

    —Before she gets home? I joked.

    He got another knife out of the drawer and began to cut up the tomatoes. 

    —Sure, why not?  he said earnestly.  

See what I mean?  Really annoying.  And really, who writes like that?

There are other things that bothered me, but I don't care to go into all that, especially since I pretty much love this book despite all the flaws.  I know it doesn't quite make sense considering how picky I can be.  I can't say I completely understand why I feel the overwhelming need to overlook the glaring technical imperfections and give this book three stars, but I do.

This book just speaks to me on multiple levels.  And no, it's not because of some convoluted love story (although, yeah, there is the beginnings of a love story but that isn't a major element of the book).  It's just about a girl trying to do the "right" thing, whatever that may be, and not lose herself in the process.  She wants more than what her upbringing says she's allowed to have.  She wants to be more.  In the end she is and I can't imagine a more beautiful Happily Ever After than that.  After all, that's what I want for myself, for my girls.

Officially 3-stars.  Unofficially 5-stars. 

Video: The Joy of Books

Review: One For The Money by Janet Evanovitch

Welcome to colorful Trenton, New Jersey, and the wild and wonderful world of Stephanie Plum. In One for the Money, rookie "apprehension agent" Plum may be a bit wet behind the ears, but nobody's gonna take it easy on her; especially her first skip, an ex-cop and murder suspect named Morelli.

----

 Honesty time.



I'm among the 1%.




Whoa, folks.  Not this 1% (although how awesome would that be?  Owning attack hounds.  Rocking a monocle.  Wearing titanium shoes.  Using fancy words like 'indubitably' and 'mustachioed'.  I'd be the best billionaire evah.)

I'm talking about the other 1%.  You know, the people who read One for the Money and didn't like it.  People such as:


The Church Lady


Grumpy Old Man


These guys



...Me...

(I guess this means I'm officially old and boring or whatever.) 

But yeah, I totally do not like this book unlike 99% of the GoodReads population.  As far as I'm concerned One for the Money is a dated, exceptionally lame version of The Jersey Shore in which everyone is sporting spandex, big hair, and sexist attitudes. 

So basically it's almost exactly the same as every episode of The Jersey Shore.  Except with more guns.


Not these guns...


Now that's more like it.

Exactly like the Jersey Shore with lots of real guns.  And a really dumb grown woman who cannot be bothered to learn how to shoot a gun even though she's carrying one with her at all times. 

Why, you ask? 

Because she's being stalked by a rapist.  A really violent, super-dangerous raping-rapist who totally wants to rape her.  A lot. 

But that's not all, folks.  There is also a really mysterious mystery.  (A rape-y mystery.) 

This really attractive MENSA candidate wrapped in spandex who can't shoot a gun to save her life is named Stephanie Plum.  Stephanie is trying to solve a mystery so she can help clear the name and reputation of the guy who sexually assaulted her when they were children the smoosh-worthy skeevy man-whore love interest.  All so she can haul him into jail for jumping bail and collect the $20,000 bounty on his head, or whatever. 

In the meantime sexual tension is building between the two.  They're tripping over all the innuendo.  It's sexy and mysterious.  And full of (dumb-)damsel-in-distress like situations.   

How could I not love this book, you ask?  I just don't.  Although, I think I just proved I'm old and boring. If you're not old or boring, and you really love the Jersey Shore, One for the Money might just be right up your alley.  1.5 stars.

Ravings of an Irrelevant Book Blogger: My Thoughts on Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (Before Reading)

Does Oprah still have a book club? Is it secretly running underground? Is the first rule Don't Talk About Book Club? I mean, how else would every woman my age know about this book? It seems as though all my GR friends over the age of 30, many of which are lucky to finish reading 12 books a year, have read or plan on reading it. I just heard about Snow Flower and the Secret Fan's existence yesterday. This is odd because regardless of what genres I prefer to read I'm usually up to date on what's the newest hottest thing in the literary world.

That said, I tend to avoid this sort of literature like the plague, so it's no surprise that I likely walked past it countless times without taking a second glance. I mean, just look at the cover. It's bland as a bowl of plain oatmeal. Granted there are flowers on it, but I don't even like flowers all that much, or Chinese fans. Based on the title I can tell it's the sort of historical fiction that is chalk-full of horrors to woman-kind. The sort of writing rife with Emotional Porn. You know, the kind that will force you to collapse on the ground, snotting and sobbing and crying out for your momma.

*rolls eyes* I really can't believe this is the sort of thing, statistically speaking, I should want to read. I mean, I am a woman. I am over thirty. This should be my bread and butter.

But it's not. It's totally not.

I've always known I was different, and not in a quirky, adorable way. Different because I snarl in the face of convention without even meaning to. I don't fit the mold. It's like I belong on the Island of Misfit Toys Women.

Whatever. I'll read Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. I'll do it because I'm sick of being the only woman in the room that doesn't know all about whatever crappy new book all the Dignified Women are reading, especially when I'm the most well-read of the bunch. But if it contains something along the lines of 'You is kind, you is smart, you is important' all bets are off.

P.S. I'm willing to bet Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is much less inspiring than Eon: Dragoneye Reborn.

Ravings of an Irrelevant Book Blogger

I'm no fool, I know no one is watching.  Google Analytics does not lie.  But you know what?  I find the fact that no one is watching ridiculously liberating.  I could say just about anything and it wouldn't matter.  I could admit that secretly love 'Stars Are Blind' by Paris Hilton, that I'm listening to it as I type this and no one would know.  This blog is like the Carson Daily Show of the internet--does his show still exist, by the way? (See?  See what I mean, self?)  Hardly anyone is visiting my little book blog, not even my mother.

Not yet, anyway.

Oh, but they'll come.  And they'll like it, too.  I'll be like The Bloggess, except I'll talk about books and be a lot less relevant.  It's going to be great.  I'll have reviews and interviews and giveaways.  People will subscribe, they'll love me.  And then?  When I finally win the internet the ARCs and galleys will come pouring in from all the major publishing houses.  I'll be swimming in free books.  A library of my very own.
 

(Soon preciousss.  Soooooooooon.)

Review: City of Ghosts (Downside Ghosts #3) by Stacia Kane

(Hey everyone! If all goes well this will end up being an honest to goodness--traditional--book review.  Before I get started I feel I should warn everyone I have ADHD and my medication is starting to wear off, also I dislike doing things the way they should be done--did I mention I also have Oppositional Defiant Disorder?   Because I totally do.  Anyway, my point is, despite the fact that I'm attempting to write a legitimate review I might go off on a few tangents like this.  Just thought I'd warn you.)


When City of Ghosts begins our protagonist, Chess, is on medical leave, recovering from the events of the last book.  Not only has her work life been put on hold, but her personal life is in shambles.  The only friend Chess ever had--Terrible, enforcer to a powerful drug lord--wants nothing to do with her, treats her with disdain, and rebuffs her attempts to make things right.  The other guy in Chess's life, Lex, is reluctant to walk away even after Chess tells him she's not interested.  She wonders why she let anyone into her life to begin with; a solitary life was less complicated.  Much drugs are had.

Then it seems things start looking up for Chess.  She's able to return to work, agreeing to assist the Black Squad on a particularly difficult case involving black magic.  Bound by a powerful spell, Chess is unable to tell anyone what she's doing, why she's investigating a building near one of her dealer's properties.  Because of this she is forced into working with Terrible once again--though, in all honesty, she craves Terrible's company, wants a chance to talk to him--and allow him to accompany whenever possible as she investigates so he can piece together what's really going on and report back to his boss.

Duty bound, Terrible does as he's told--works with Chess--but he is mercilessly cruel, says the worst things to Chess he is less than happy about it.  They discover there may be more to the case than originally thought: more players in the game, and a form of black magic Chess has never encountered before.  To make matters worse the woman Chess is reporting to is condescending and just plain irritating to be around.  Oh, yeah, and Lex keeps showing up.   It's a disaster.

I enjoyed this installment of the Downside Ghosts series.  I wish I could say I loved it, that I'll be giving City of Ghosts five stars, but I can't.  While I reveled in the relationship aspect, I sort of had to slog through the mystery/Chess's professional life.  It's not that the latter was uninteresting, it's just that personal relationships have become a big part of Chess's life, key to her overall character development.  Things between Chess and Terrible are so unbearably awful that it's difficult for Chess not think about it all the time.  Even I spent way too much time being angst-ridden over the whole ordeal.  I lost much sleep over it, walked around feeling like crap for a couple of days.  True story.  This isn't typical behavior; it's rare for a book to affect me so immensely.  

Because of my complete inability to relax until things were somehow resolved between Chess and Terrible, I could not focus on the mystery.  This is pretty unfortunate as the details of this particular case were a lot more complicated than any of the other cases Chess has worked on.  Which means I got a little confused from time to time and I was frustrated with myself and the book. 

Do I place the blame on Stacia Kane?  In her writing?  Her storytelling abilities, originality and timing?  When it comes to this specific series I'd have to say no, I don't blame Stacia Kane.  Sure there are aspects of the Downside universe that don't quite work for me, some of the details are a little fuzzy, and some grammatical errors (ironic I point this out, I know, seeing as I hardly ever edit what I say or write) but none of it stopped me from being so completely consumed by this series that I could do little more than think about it for a week straight.

I mean, it's a dystopian urban fantasy about a drug addict who traps ghosts for a living.  The characters are named Chess and Terrible. Other than Kane's talent for storytelling, for writing emotion in such a way that moved me on so many levels, there's no reason for this series to be among my favorites.

But it is, it totally is.  The Downside Ghost series by Stacia Kane is going on my 'favorites' shelf.  And even though City of Ghosts probably only deserves three stars--overall--I'm going to go ahead and give it four because it ends on such a satisfying note. 

I recommend this book, this series, for lovers of urban fantasy or those looking for something new.