Thursday, March 25, 2010

Review: Tempted by P.C. Cast & Kristen Cast

Have you ever read a book that's so irritating you can't help but think, It would be great if most of the characters died right now, especially the main character because she sucks?  Possibly even go so far as consider writing and posting your own ending to said book on  An ending in which Buffy the Vampire Slayer shows up and kills everyone in a hilarious yet incredibly violent fashion? 

If your answer is YES then you've probably been reading this series. XD

Seriously though, Tempted killed my addiction to the House of Night series.  And I know I should be grateful--in a way I am--but, more than anything I can't help but be incredibly disappointed.  The first HON book had some potential but instead of getting better as the series continued, it just got worse.  So.  Much.  Worse. 

Zoey Redbird went from being a normal teenage girl, who just so happened to be a vampire, to a complete slut-faced ho bag vampire with extrasuperspecial powers by the sixth book.  To be completely honest, the full transformation to Supernatural "Slut-Face" Sue occurred a few books back. 

Zoey is so much worse then Aphrodite was at the beginning of the series.  And I think we can all agree Aphrodite was kind of slutty way back then, what with her forcing her company on an obviously uninterested, slightly disgusted Eric all the time.  Now that I think about it, that's way more sad then it is slutty.  I digress.   My point is now Aphrodite is committed to a nice guy who loves & respects her, and Zoey is lusting after/sexing/heavily-petting/groping/making out with just about every guy that comes her way. 

For whatever reason Zoey's behavior is not considered slutty because she's a priestess, or whatever.  Apparently if you wield the power of Nyx you can get away with anything, even being the Whore of Babylon. How nice.

Erik/Stark/Kalona/everyotherwaytotallyhotguyevuh?  Hate them.  So much.  Because seriously, Zoey is the Whore of all Babylon, has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, yet they're all hot and bothered over her.  Morons.  All of them.  Obviously Kalona is just some disgusting, evil...God?  Demon?  Whatever! who wants to get Zoey in the sack and then kill her--I'm sorry but where's the downside to that plan? Just kidding! (not really)  And I really don't understand Erik's attraction to her, especially since she cheated on him with THEIR ADULT TEACHER the same day Erik became a full-fledged vampire (It was, what?  An hour after the fact???).  And Stark?  Ugh!  Don't even get me started on the Stark/Zoey 'ship.  That whole complicated/nonsensical mess just makes me want to bash my head against a brick wall.  Repeatedly.  

Moving on...

The gay couple in this series is completely ridiculous.  Look, I don't have an issue with homosexuality in YA fiction, but I do have a problem with the way it's portrayed in this series.  Damien and Jack are like a parody of a stereotype, if that makes sense.  Their relationship is so--dare I say--gay, for lack of a better description.  It's just a bunch of rainbows, puppies, kittens, lollipops, fluffy clouds, sunshine, glitter-farting unicorns, and of course fabulousness! in Damien-and-Jack Townshipville.

The Twins?  Sooooooo stuuuuuuuuuupid.  These are two of my least favorite characters and were I to write a Buffy the Vampire Slayer/HON crossover, these two would go first (at the exact same time).  It wouldn't be pretty, either.   

Stevie Rae?  I don't even know what to think about where her story is going.  I mean, seems like the girl's gonna be gettin' it on with some sort of demented raven-man thing, which is incredibly disgusting.  That whole weird relationship aside?  Stevie Rae just isn't the same.  In fact, she hasn't been since she died and came back.  Stevie Rae just flat-out gives me the creeps so I don't like her either. 

Then there's Heath.  Poor, stupid, very mortal Heath.  One of the few characters I still kind of liked in this horrible horrible, oh, so very horrible series.  And yes, I know I'm probably the only person who actually liked Heath (you slags were wanting him to die and you know it!) but I don't care.  The fact is, he's the only person that really knew Zoey and he still loved her, despite all her faults.  He loved her so much he decided it was time to grow up and quit drinking/partying. And put his life on the line for her.  He's the only person that kept Zoey grounded (besides her grandmother, of course).  I actually liked the interactions between Zoey and Heath. Their conversations were cute, and sweet, and fun.  I actually kind of liked Zoey when she was with Heath--I could relate to her.    

And what did the Casts' do?  They killed him.  KILLED!  At the end of the last chapter!  And because he's mortal he's actually dead dead.  As in, never coming back dead (unlike Stevie Rae and Stark whou should have stayed dead, IMHO).  And I've got the feeling the Casts only killed him because their story got away from them and they didn't know what else to do.

The Casts are going to drag this series out for SIX MORE BOOKS, people!  And considering the fact that they've already lost control of their story, It's pretty safe to say that this series won't end well.  (Don't say I didn't warn you.)

And it needs to be said, I am dumber for having read the first six books in the House of Night series.   

One star.  That is all.

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